The Girl
They Left Out
The Girl
They Left Out
Everyone saw the classroom.
No one saw the loneliness.
Everyone saw the classroom.
No one saw the loneliness.
THIS STORY IS TRUE.
SADLY, IT ISN'T UNIQUE.
THIS STORY IS TRUE.
SADLY, IT ISN'T UNIQUE.
I was in a room full of classmates…
…and I had never felt more alone.
I was in a room full of classmates…
…and I had never felt more alone.
I Thought It Was
My Fault
I Thought It Was
My Fault
When I was in fifth grade, I was bullied by the other girls in my class. It was a very small class, yet somehow I still felt completely alone.
The girls would deliberately exclude me and only pretend to include me when a teacher was watching.
At recess, I usually played with the younger children or sat by myself, wondering what I had done wrong.
Fifth grade felt like it would never end. Then COVID shut down the schools, and for the first time, staying home felt like a relief.
When I was in fifth grade, I was bullied by the other girls in my class. It was a very small class, yet somehow I still felt completely alone.
The girls would deliberately exclude me and only pretend to include me when a teacher was watching.
At recess, I usually played with the younger children or sat by myself, wondering what I had done wrong.
Fifth grade felt like it would never end. Then COVID shut down the schools, and for the first time, staying home felt like a relief.
" At recess, I usually played with
younger children or sat by myself
wondering what I had done wrong. "
" At recess, I usually played with
younger children or sat by myself wondering what I had done wrong. "
Then the world shut down.
And for the first time…
staying home felt safer
than going to school.
Then the world shut down.
And for the first time…
staying home felt safer
than going to school.
I Didn't Know the Rules
Everyone Else Seemed
to Understand
I Didn't Know the Rules
Everyone Else Seemed
to Understand
As an autistic child, I couldn't understand the invisible social rules everyone else seemed to know. The cliques, the subtle cues, the unspoken expectations they never made sense to me.
So, I did what many autistic children do: I learned to mask. I studied other people's behavior, hid my sensory reactions, rehearsed conversations, and tried my best to become someone I thought others would accept.
So I learned to become someone
I thought people would accept.
As an autistic child, I couldn't understand the invisible social rules everyone else seemed to know. The cliques, the subtle cues, the unspoken expectations they never made sense to me.
So, I did what many autistic children do: I learned to mask. I studied other people's behavior, hid my sensory reactions, rehearsed conversations, and tried my best to become someone I thought others would accept.
So I learned to become someone
I thought people would accept.
But masking comes at a cost.
But masking comes at a cost.
The Trauma Didn't
Stay in Fifth Grade
The Trauma Didn't
Stay in Fifth Grade
The loneliness and rejection I experienced didn't disappear when fifth grade ended. The trauma followed me into middle school and beyond, leaving me with anxiety, self-doubt, and the constant feeling that I had to earn the right to belong.
Unfortunately, my experience isn't unique. Too often, bullying of autistic children is dismissed as "kids being kids," when in reality it can leave emotional wounds that last for years.
Many autistic teens and adults struggle with anxiety, depression, and low self-worth, not because autism is the problem, but because of how the world treats those who are different.
The loneliness and rejection I experienced didn't disappear when fifth grade ended. The trauma followed me into middle school and beyond, leaving me with anxiety, self-doubt, and the constant feeling that I had to earn the right to belong.
Unfortunately, my experience isn't unique. Too often, bullying of autistic children is dismissed as "kids being kids," when in reality it can leave emotional wounds that last for years.
Many autistic teens and adults struggle with anxiety, depression, and low self-worth, not because autism is the problem, but because of how the world treats those who are different.
Then Something
Changed.
Then Something
Changed.
One day…
I stopped asking.
"What's wrong with me?"
One day…
I stopped asking.
"What's wrong with me?"
and started asking.
"How can I help the
next child?"
and started asking.
"How can I help the
next child?"
The loneliness and the rejection I experienced is why I believe every neurodivergent child deserves a place where they are not asked to fit in; they are celebrated for exactly who they are and that bullying needs to be taken more seriously when it comes to neurodivergent children in schools.
No child should ever have to feel
like the girl they left out.
I Found My Voice
The loneliness and the rejection I experienced is why I believe every neurodivergent child deserves a place where they are not asked to fit in; they are celebrated for exactly who they are and that bullying needs to be taken more seriously when it comes to neurodivergent children in schools.
No child should ever have to feel like the girl they left out.
I Found My Voice